Ballooning in a World Beyond Vroom Vroom Balloon (part 2)
Can you feel the solar eclipse coming???
I’d like to start today by sharing about the cosmic shift you may or may not know is happening. On March 29, 2025 we will experience the last (partial) solar eclipse on the Aries-Libra axis. I say “the last” because this is an event that began two years ago on April 20, 2023.
Two year culmination of Aries-Libra Eclipse Cycle
New information to me, an astrological-novice, is eclipses only occur during the new moon. Typically, the new moon offers space for one to set intentions, but this Aries eclipsed new moon? Honey, not quite. She’s way too intense, chaotic and unpredictable. She calls for us to pay attention to what is shifting. She is here to reveal what is and is not working, so we can move closer to our Destiny.
Aries and Libra Solar Eclipse Dates:
1. April 20, 2023
2. October 20, 2023
3. March 25, 2024
4. April 8, 2024
5. October 2, 2024
6. March 29, 2025
I implore you to look back on these times and take a moment of reflection for what issues were surfacing around your independence. It is time to stop overthinking. Let us be impulsive, brave, decisive and active. Use the fire of Aries to light the match and take action to align in the direction the universe is sending you.
What is no longer meant for you, is okay to release.
Of all those dates above, the first one grabbed my attention instantly. Late April of 2023 is when I decided to truly launch The Painted Balloon, which I’d been brewing since last 2020. The story of my re-entry into the balloon world can be found a couple editions back: Ballooning in a world beyond Vroom Vroom Balloon.
Flash-forward to April 2023: I was creating business cards, promoting my skills, marketing myself. Working at a hair salon reception desk, talking on the daily to the wealthy women of Hingam, reminding me so much of my Nashville clients. They did exist here on the south shore! I can do this. The audience exists, now to put the plan into action. I believe the shift in my life today is what these last two years have been leading up to. It is time for me to take back my time, energy and continue to build the confidence I’ve been working so hard on since leaving the super toxic abusive relationship with my mom.
Ballooning is mentally, physically and emotionally taxing because of the little string that tie the Evil Sunster to my thoughts. Again I’m reminding myself that Vroom Vroom Balloon was my creation. Sure, my mother helped propel the business, but I’m sure she saw this not as an opportunity for her child to thrive, but to be the cash cow she’d waited years for. She propelled me right into the ground, goddamnit!
One of my biggest fears is success of the balloon business. I KNOW IT WILL THRIVE. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. But what if it goes too hard?
The majority of my 24 hours at the t-shirt shop involves standing at a heat press making shirts, alone in the workshop. To pass the time, I devour approximately one podcast season each week, sometimes three. I think it would be cool to send a weekly edition of this newsletter recapping what I listen to. An especially delectable list for any and all true crime nerds.
Yesterday was different.
Yesterday was Dochii.
Two full concert sets streamed ion YouTube, plus many songs and her December 2024 interview on The Zane Low Show.
Zane: There must’ve been times in your life where you felt that pressure where time was working against you. Why aren’t I more successful? Why isn’t this happening faster? Have you ever felt that way?
Dochii: It’s kinda complicated… Not really. I think that truthfully, I’ve consistently had faith that my time is my time… I was more so when am I gonna get better as a writer to me, to me, to me? When am I gonna get more confident in my music? Why am I not confident in my music? I want to play something to be like “this is undeniable hard.” I would be so insecure about my raps and stuff like that, but now with this tape this was the first time in my career I was like, “I don't care who doesn't like it. This is hard!” That feels good.
With Dochii in my mind, I transfer meaning of “going hard” from association with suffering, being overworked, burnt out, lack of will to live. Let’s set a timeline. We want to “go hard” on graduation, which occurs around May into June. In fact, the receptionist at hair salon Fiona gave her notice to leave in June, but got to exit in May, because her balloons were so in demand. We can do it again.
The Timeline
Order new business cards. Unfortunately, my phone number changed. Fortunately, the number rocks. We have to get budget business cards this round, sorry self. It pains me, but I cannot justify having no money and getting the pretty Moo with multiple backs 😢. My therapist said to order the free vista print ones that feature “vistaprint.com” on them - but no. I can’t. Honestly I could probably print my own on the fancy printer that sits next to my desk. For art that makes sense, but balloons…. You see, the bar was set so high by Vroom Vroom Balloon. Mental Block…
Create page of Graduation Balloons on website. Portfolio style. I think we have to leave the website on Shopify for now, even though I wish it were Squarespace. Shopify is so expensive. Got to sell balloons.
Sell balloons.
Make art.
Sell art.
Well, isn’t that simple? Good thing I’ve already taken three naps today.
Honestly, I’m scared to put too much pressure on myself. The main fear is that I would somehow not allow myself the space and time needed to recover. “But Fiona. You’ve already taken three naps today.” Because I’m stressed! And that’s okay. I give myself grace.
I give myself grace.
I GIVE MYSELF GRACE.
This is recovery. The goal of recovery is to keep recovering. Fuck the moves. Take what you need and leave the rest.
If you’d like to help me purchase business cards, please consider subscribing to this newsletter. You can upgrade to a paid subscription, right here :) The annual price of $80 is discounted to $32 because of my birthday this month! It would mean so much to have you as a patron of my work as an artist and writer. Keep the arts alive, for godsake!
That’s about all I’ve got in me today. Because of financial stress (hello!!! my boss keeps forgetting to pay me!!!) the last week and a half, I’ve been super emotionally dysregulated (why isn’t this a word??). Bottom line, I haven’t been feeding myself well. Due to the disordered eating/how my mom would spend money (child support??) on new clothes and feed her children shredded mini wheats for dinner, food is the first to get kicked off my list of “necessities.” There aren’t even chicken tenders in the freezer. I’m going to the grocery store.
